


My Sun Still Sets With You

by ravioleeheicho



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, I guess?? lol, I'm Jonas AU, I'm Jonas AU HAVE YOU GUYS WATCHED THAT WHAT THE DUCK, M/M, NO ONE IS DEAD BCS I CANT KILL ANYONE, Other, Post-Break Up, Post-Relationship, Pre-Relationship, Violence, ill add more as the story progress lol pray for me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:15:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27191621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravioleeheicho/pseuds/ravioleeheicho
Summary: It’s quiet.Too quiet.He liked the quiet then, he loathes the quiet now. If you’d ask him why he surely has the answer.A story of a 33 years old man stuck up from an accident that took the life of his lover, Eren, 15 years ago. The said boy was a mischievous yet attractive teen who can’t seem to leave him alone even after his death.
Relationships: Levi & Eren Yeager, Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

** October 2020 **

**3:06 AM**

Levi shut his eyes from the angry neon red light of his digital clock that seems to shout _‘Go to sleep, Dickhead! Am I not obvious to you?’_ Levi wouldn’t be surprised if that very same digital clock parades it’s way to his lap and talk to him, ask him his _whys_. Oh, how badly he wanted that to happen. How badly he craves for someone to ask him, hold him, and shield him away from everything. From quietness.

_It’s quiet._

_Too quiet._

He’s not really one to talk, he’s more of the listener than anyone. He liked the quiet then. He liked that he can focus, get things off his mind, and finish tasks. When it’s static quiet, it gives him peace. Gives him time to think of himself, of what he needs to do, what he needs to improve. He liked the quiet then, he loathes the quiet now.

If you’d ask him why he surely has an answer.

“Because Eren was never quiet.” He whispers to nobody. His voice bounced on the wall of the room, reminding him that Eren was never really quiet. Never one to clamp his mouth over things. He’s so full of emotion and was ready to express it anytime you ask him to.

He liked the quiet then, he loathes the quiet now because he cannot focus, instead of productivity, all he can think of is his past, of cars, of black hoodie and tunnel. His old pal quietness doesn’t serve him peace with a napkin on his lap anymore. Although his same old pal still gives him time to think, time to think of how he is the embodiment of shit, how he’s never going to know what to do, never going to improve anything.

He’s really in a tough relationship with quietness. It’s like a temptation, his own version of harming. How he likes to torment his mind of _whys_ and _what-ifs_ with the thought of Eren. He hates the quietness but at the same time, quietness was his last of Eren. Holding onto the memory of him.

“That’s why.” He sighs and opens his eyes to peer at the digital clock beside him.

**3:45 AM**

He didn’t know the time has passed by quickly again. _Again, again and again._ Without an ounce of sleep, he rose from his bed and retrieved his phone to play some music. Adrien Gallo’s voice seems to blend with the sound of the TV in the background, the hum of the air conditioner, the sound from the apartment next to him that obviously holds a party every Thursday but all of them seem to not calm his nerves. He knows it’s noisy, too much sound for one person, too much stimulation for his brain but it’s still quiet. Or rather, he can’t hear what he wants to hear.

He can’t and he won’t hear Eren’s laugh, silly giggles, loud and obnoxious snort, his whiny and high pitched voice when reasoning, he won't hear them anymore. And Levi can’t stand that idea. Can’t seem to accept that quietness was the last thing Eren gave him. A quiet plea to _go, get out, and save yourself._

He won’t hear him anymore because Eren’s gone and Levi is pretty sure that he won’t come back anymore.

Because the dead will never come back.

Holding onto Eren is like holding a fistful of sand. Throw in unequal parts of a shattered mirror in the mix and you’re done. How he’s slowly losing Eren no matter how tight he holds him. Slowly and in a blink of an eye, he’s gone. But at the same time, he would also see pieces of Eren. Sometimes it would be too big enough to encourage him to join the other boy. Other times, it would be small. Like a bite of an ant or the sting of a syringe on the skin. With every shattered piece digging to his palm, he’s always reminded of who he was and where he is right now, of where Eren is.

** October 2005 **

****

“I’m thinking of applying to the university in the capital! Oh, Levi, that would be great! They cater to any science-related courses and that means you can try nursing in there.” Hanji beamed and almost fell off from their chair backward since they’re sitting in the opposite direction. They’re currently inside Levi’s classroom. Hanji and Erwin’s classroom was next to his. The three of them usually share classes together. They were always next to each other. The group that you would call the powerpuffs or the Harry Potter trio. But not this year. Unfortunately, Levi enrolled late and didn't made it to the cut-off.

“I’ll try.” He simply said. Erwin and Hanji continued chatting, picking up where Levi stopped and filling in the conversation. He doesn’t know what to say to them. Doesn’t know how to tell them that he’s staying here in their small town and that he can not leave his parents alone with knives that are already sharpened, ready to dig their respective blades to each other whenever Levi is gone.

It’s been years since the fights started. His father made the liquor his mistress, his mother is addicted to the current dramas that specifically broads broken families. And it wasn’t even big fights. It was glares, silent treatments, and neglects. His mother would only cook for him and by the time they’re finished, the leftovers are given to the neighbor’s dogs. His father would only scoff and bring out his takeout, already used to his mother’s antics. His father would buy things, expensive things that give his mother aneurysm.

Although there are no physical fights, he would hear his mother sniffle every time his father did something to upset her. She would go inside the bathroom for 30 minutes, with the faucet and shower on blast, and would reappear with a red nose. When Levi asked, she said a soap went inside her eyes. He would also see his father throw the takeout and sigh. It might be harsh but it’s pathetic.

It’s like they want to fix it, but both of them proudly put their pride on the highest shelf where no one would dare to touch. There would be times that Levi thought they’re going to really finish it off only for it to go down the drain whenever one of them walks out. Levi knows they’re still trying to lay on one bed for him. Still try to attend his competition together for him. But they’re unhealthy for each other.

But he can see that they really want to try. Last night, his mother cooked enough for the three of them and didn’t give the leftover steak to the dogs next door. He doesn’t know if it’s because the cut was expensive or was it because she knows his father really likes steaks. If they’re starting small, and if staying means a more secured bridge for his parents, then Levi will gladly abandon his dream university.

“Are you not going to eat that?” Erwin. He looked up from his hands to Erwin and back to his food that is painfully crushed in his hold. He shakes his head and stands up to throw out the mangled sandwich. He sadly looked at the sandwich and sighed _rip_

He was suddenly interrupted when the door was opened with the intention of breaking it. “Okay, everyone- where is everyone?” Levi turned to the intruder and saw his PE teacher in his gym clothes as usual. “Ackerman, where are your classmates?” He shrugged and took the broom. He swifts the dust near the trashcan while the teacher went out to get his classmates. He heard Hanji and Erwin snickering behind the huge desk in front, hiding. “Get out.”

“My foot is dead, it’s going to be painfully funny when I walk.” Hanji reasoned. He threw them a look saying _Don’t blame me if he makes your run butt naked._ They smirked and ducked their heads under when the door opened for the second time. This time, his classmates filled in the room and it smells like sweat and cafeteria _It smells like burned Lasagna and armpit_ He grimaced and covered his nose.

His PE teacher walked in front with a tall boy in tow. The said boy scanned the room and shortly stopped at Levi, or so he thinks, to give him a wink. Levi averted his eyes, not sure if the boy really there the wink to him or to the girl at the back. A minute passed and his teacher pulled the chair from the desk and shrieked in horror. Levi smirked when the teacher fell to the boy next to him. “Ms. Zoe and Mr. Smith!”

Erwin half dragged a laughing Hanji and nodded to Levi. He slightly turned his head to the side as a goodbye. He heard his teacher clear his throat and introduced the boy next to him. “This is Eren and he will be your new classmate. He’s from… uh where are you from, son?”

“I’m from the next town.” He said confidently _trying to impress everyone, huh_ He smiled and introduced his dimples to the whole class. Levi can hear the giggles of his girl classmates. “Okay, you can find your seat…over there. Next to Ackerman.”

 _Great._ He’s expected to befriend the new guy, expected to give him a tour and tell all the school secrets, warn him about which teacher he should avoid and what food in the cafeteria to boycott. _Hell no_ The boy, Eren, made his way to the chair next to Levi. “Hi.”

 _Oh fuck_ he’s attempting a small conversation and Levi is not one to tolerate small conversations because they were the most awkward kind, most hard to erase when you’re clad in your pajamas, ready to sleep but then memories of awkward conversation hit you. To avoid any replies from Eren, Levi nodded and pretended he’s absorbed in Bandminton’s history.

From his side, he heard a quiet, yet bright chuckle. “Cute.”

_What the fuck_


	2. Chapter 2

** October 2020 4:57 **

Levi lifted his helmet off his head after he parked his motor and went inside the Hospital. He passed by the guard who gave him a confused look “Didn’t you just clocked out earlier?” Levi shrugged and waved. “I’m visiting a friend.” He said before he enters the lift.

The lounge he just passed by was busy. It was full of patients’ families, waiting for results, crying to each other’s shoulder, sleeping on the couch, anything. Some were wailing, shouting at doctors and nurses, others were happy to receive that their loved ones managed to get away from the grasp of the death. Levi is not new to this. He had seen worse. He had seen the worst in someone’s desperate moment. Sometimes, it twinges something in his heart but most of the time, that very same muscle grew accustomed to the _please, bring back my son._ He’s not new to this. In fact, even before he became a nurse, someone begged him to bring back his son and it’s funny because what he replied was what a nurse like him today would reply to someone. _I’m sorry_

When the lift stopped and the doors opened, Levi stepped out and aimlessly walked down the hall. The hospital smelled nice. One would think he’s bat shit crazy because _when did a hospital smelled nice?_ Lucky for Levi, he got into a private hospital that pays well their cleaning staff. It smells disinfectant, it smells clean. Each door has its own alcohol and mask dispenser. The walls are painted cream, and the ceiling a tad bit too high for his liking but for years he worked in here, he realized that it was not intended for him. When he arrived at the door, he knocked and went inside.

“Oh goodness, Levi! Good thing you’re here! He’s being stubborn again – he wants to eat everything!” A woman in her 60s went to Levi’s side and held his arm. He smiled at the woman and made his way to the foot of the bed. “You can’t eat anything pre-op, old man.” He said and checked his vitals. He’s not on shift but he still checks anyway.

It was an old man, the same age as his father. Levi really didn’t think of him as anyone special at first. Old man? He had plenty of old patients, some were even older, skin sticking to the bone type. But when found out that his only son, who also happened to be a nurse was too busy to tend to his sick father, his heart sank. He told him his son was only slightly older and less grumpy but he has the same determination and passion – just for other people. From then on, he spends a little more time than he usually does with the old man. He’ll tell him stories and experiences from other patients and the man would laugh at his poor choice of words – often to forget that he’s still working and would usually slip a few _fuck_

For the past month, the old man’s health seems to deteriorate and he ended up needing surgery. His son visited once. _Once_ Levi wanted to punch the guy’s face at that time. Wanted to yell at him that he doesn’t have much time and if he realized it too late, it would end him. And no, Levi is not talking from experience because his father is well and healthy at home. He just doesn’t get people who cry and regrets everything when they didn’t even try hard enough. When they could’ve done something to lessen the regret.

_To lessen the regret. To lessen the guilt. To make yourself feel better because you know you’ve done something before the past._

In the end, people only try to be there so they won’t hold themselves accountable for someone’s misery. _‘Levi, let go. You’re not your own prison and surely, you’re not your own judge.”_ He closed his eyes and huffed a breath. “I will try to wind up from time to time to check on you. And I already called your son. He said he’ll try to swing by.” As much as he hates to deliver the half-assed assurance, he still did. The old man only gave him a sad smile and beckoned him to go and rest.

Levi is not a CCU nurse. He changed departments before the old man even scheduled his surgery. Right now, he transferred to the ED. His friends and coworkers seem to question his decision because he’s very efficient to CCU, he’s able to look into the bigger picture, more time to analyze and patch up unlike in the ER where teamwork is needed and Levi - Levi is Levi.

He went to the on-call room to try to sleep. The keyword is trybecause as much as he hates sleeping, as much as he hates dreaming, his body needs a rest for his 10-hour shift. He arrived and immediately saw two interns passed out. _Oh dear_

It was 30 minutes into his light slumber when he heard the loud bang of the door against the wall. He jerked and saw one of the interns scrambles out of the room with messy hair and a noisy beeper. “What code?” He asked the other guy who seems to be taking his time. “I heard it’s code orange.” Levi curses himself mentally for asking because _It’s a mass casualty. What idiotic behavior did someone caused this early morning?_

Levi immediately went his way down and saw nurses, doctors, and other medical staff in the ED. He trudged and grabbed the senior nurse’s attention. “If you don’t mind, I can help, although I’m off shift right now.” The nurse contemplated but after a short discussion, she partners up with an intern and fellow.

“Try to not shit your pants.” He said and the fellow smirked while the intern looked severely terrified. “First time?” Fellow. Levi looked at the pin on her breast pocket and saw that her name was Ymir.

“Yes. I just started my internship last year and I never experienced mass casualty this big.” With the last word, Levi turned his head to him. “What do you mean?”

“A truck on a skyway flew down and crashed more than 10 cars.”

_It’s gonna be a long morning._

Levi was assigned to a girl who was under a yellow tag. It means while her condition is stable and she’s not in immediate danger, she’s still under observation and needs medical attention every now and then. He cleaned her wounds after the doctors finished their work and checked the vital signs. After a few hours, nurse aids went and helped to move her to a private room. He heard the family arrived and promptly demanded a private room. _To be rich and to afford VIP treatment and room_

While on the lift, Levi looked at the girl, no older than 10. She has brown hair and light tanned skin. When she arrived, her pigtails were in a state of mess, her clothes soaked up blood and few were torn. She managed to get out of the car with bruises all over her arm and few scratches on her face. This indicates that she’s still lucky aside from being alive because Levi saw a man with a huge open wound on his face and he can only imagine how expensive that would cost if they even consider the treatment.

The lift made a _ding_ and the two nurse aid begun pushing the bed out. They arrived in a big empty room and Levi started to arrange the tube and other vital sign monitors. When everything was settled, the family made an appearance and Levi felt the soul of his body leave.

In front of him was the equally shocked couple, Mr. and Mrs. Jaeger.

Levi cleared his throat and bowed in respect. After all, they’re still patrons and Levi will not let his pathetic ass taint his name or the hospital’s name in any way. “Levi?” Carla said and walked slowly in front of him. _He looks just like her_ he thinks. The woman in front of him was the mother who begged him to bring back his son 15 years ago. “ _Please, bring back my son.”_

He wanted to run, to get out, and never return to the room again. The once big and empty four corners now feel like a box that closes the space inch by inch. He can’t even look Carla in the eye, can’t even look at his late boyfriend’s parents. But he swallowed the impending vomit. “Yes,” He said and turned away to busy himself with the monitor.

“I…you became a nurse?” She asked. Levi looked at her once again, to look respectful and professional. Grisha took a seat down on the couch while Carla wanders straight beside him. “Yes. I didn’t know what else to do.” He said and adjusted the bed. He can feel her eyes at him, he hasn’t looked at the pair yet thus, he doesn’t know what they interpret yet. _Maybe anguish._ When he looked up, he found a sad pair of eyes. Levi told them to call whenever they needed and something and marched his whole body out.

When he made it to the bathroom, he promptly held onto the sink and threw up. It took him five minutes to freshen up and get his shit together as best as he can and stared directly at the mirror in front of him. There, a 33-year-old man, who can’t seem to get out of his own head, looked at him straight in the eyes. His grey and dead eyes tell him he’s royally fucked and he can’t get away from this because he’s the assigned nurse and there’s no away to avoid it aside from when the family wanted a change of nurse and he bet his tea infuser on that there’s a 75% probability of them kicking him.

He groaned and looked up _fuck, Eren. I bet you’re smirking cause you know how shit scared I am to your mother, huh?_

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. Have you guys watched or heard the movie I'm Jonas? This is where I got this idea lol. If you guys liked this first chapter, please leave a thought! I mean, its still up to you. It would be great if you guys leave a comment tho. I'll update this immediately. 
> 
> I really wanted to set the story in Europe since I'm Jonas is actually a Frech movie but I'm not familiar with France or anything outside my country. 
> 
> I hope you guys like this. Thank you!


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